Is it possible that dating is not part of the plan? We as people have distorted the real plan and that is to cultivate frienships before the courting season. I am of the opinion that if we focus only on friendships, then we would eliminate a lot of the confusion that is going on in the dating world. When you are just friends and the focus is getting to know each other then you have a real opportunity to vet one another. Here are some of the major issues when we “DATE” as I see it.

1. Typically when people go on dates, most of the time intimacy takes place beforehand, distorting the vetting process.

2. You attempt to impress the individual as oppose to getting to know the individual.

3. Expectations are placed on the other that are typically outlined in a marriage relationship (i.e. Who’s paying for the dates(s)? Will you begin to pay the other persons bills? Time constraints, etc…)

4. Should the dating process not work, you are left with an emotional tear that often times are difficult to get over. Sometimes, the residue of the last failed relationship is brought into the next adventure.

Faison’s prescription…

* Take time to get to know yourself and find out who you are first.
* Take walks or do things that don’t require money.
* Don’t put expectations on one another and take the time to get to know the person.

“Free yourself from yourself and you will find your true self”
L.D. Faison

Family, do you agree or disagree?

YOU choose. Everything YOU need is already within. YOU choose. He or she is not equipped to make YOU happy. YOU choose. no one completes YOU, YOU choose. YOU are already complete. YOU choose. Depression is a choice. YOU choose. Success Is a choice. YOU choose. Will you co create with the divine? YOU choose. The Peace that surpasses all understanding is your heaven . YOU choose. Do YOU believe it or do YOU know it? YOU choose. Today, YOU have been chosen to choose.

I believe that everyone knows this person, and some readers might even be this person. “Pretender” sounds an alarm to all who will listen, alerting them to the unscrupulous ways and unethical practices of the pretender, in hopes that readers will no longer be wounded, damaged, devastated, or disillusioned by his or her actions.

I admit to having worn a mask in order to advance my own interests, and will come clean about my own predatory behavior. My goal is to blow the cover off of the pretenders among us, thus freeing their unsuspecting potential prey to date, trust and love wisely and productively.
I hope that my candor will be a first step in helping to heal or prevent wounds like the ones that I have created in the past. I also wish to shine a light on the misguided ways of pretenders who may read this book. It is my prayer that they will see the errors of their ways and make a change in their personal conduct.

My message is one of personal growth and responsibility. It is my belief that growth is a choice, and responsibility is a lifestyle. In my public speaking, I focus on these themes, illustrating them with personal experiences from my own life. I contend that true personal fulfillment can only be achieved when one assumes responsibility for his own actions, progress and choices.

The same is true in our relationships. The void, or the pain, of being alone overrides the logic and common sense that most of us have. The things that we said that we wouldn’t settle for, we now give a pass to. You said that you wanted someone who is a good communicator, however, you accepted someone who doesn’t communicate at all. You said you wanted someone who is family-oriented, but you accepted someone who doesn’t care about family values. You said you wanted someone who is gentle, yet you settled for a person who is rough and abusive. You said you wanted someone to love you, then, you accepted someone who has never been loved and is not equipped to love. The question we must ask is, “Am I willing to be honest with myself when it comes to my personal relationships?” I believe that the things that we are asking for from others are the very things that we must be.

So let me offer this solution: Spend time building a strong relationship with yourself. If you can’t make yourself happy, then you can rest assured that no one else can fill that void. So, what is the one thing that will fill your emptiness? Love of one’s self, my friend. Love.

My motto is this: Free yourself from yourself and you will find your true self . Don’t pretend to have it all together, work on having it all together.

L. D. Faison | Personal Development Coach

(Los Angeles, California) – Spoken word artist and motivational speaker, Lamonte Faison, announces the release of his second book, Unveiling the Mask of the Pretender. This is an introspective piece in which the author turns the mirror on himself, in order to reveal the secrets of what he refers to as “the pretender”.

He maintains that everyone knows this person, and some readers might even be this person. Faison sounds an alarm to all who will listen, alerting them to the unscrupulous ways and unethical practices of the pretender, in hopes that his readers will no longer be wounded, damaged, devastated, or disillusioned by his or her actions.

He admits to having worn a mask in order to advance his own interests, and comes clean about his predatory behavior. Faison’s goal is to blow the cover off of the pretenders among us, thus freeing their unsuspecting potential prey to date, trust and love wisely and productively.

Faison hopes that his candor will be a first step in helping to heal or prevent wounds like the ones that he has created in his past. He also wishes to shine a light on the misguided ways of pretenders who may read his book. It is his prayer that they will see the errors of their ways and make a change in their personal conduct.

Faison’s message is one of personal growth and responsibility. It is his belief that growth is a choice and responsibility is a lifestyle. In his public speaking, he focuses on these themes, illustrating them with personal experiences from his own life. He contends that personal true fulfillment can only be achieved when one assumes responsibility for his own actions, progress and choices.

Unveiling the Mask of the Pretender is Faison’s second book. This book, along with his first book, The Teenager’s Guide to Making Excellent Decisions, is available on-line at www.lfaison.com.

In the interim, I learned that I was pretending, and that I was unhappy with the person I claimed to be. At some point, the status quo of “I am just doing me” turned into personal development. I suppose that I was afraid of the pain and embarrassment that opening up to someone might cause. But I realize that the pain of saying “no” to counseling was even greater than the pain of saying “yes”.

Here is something else that I’ve learned. The majority of us who say that we are “just doing us” are not doing us at all. We’re doing our representative, or who we think we are, or maybe who we want to be. So, let me offer a solution in four parts:

1. Be honest with yourself. (This is the most important step.)
2. Write down your feelings. (Very therapeutic.)
3. Seek wise counsel. (Talk to someone you trust.)
4. Implement the principles you have learned. (Walk in your success!)

Remember, free yourself from yourself, and you become your true self.